Mood swings and crashdowns

Last week was a rollercoaster of emotions.

Just a recap: I rebooted this blog, then promptly fell into a Pit of Despair.

You see, not all mood swings are the same and can be radically different for everyone. For instance, my fiancé noticed that some of his bad moods are brought on by what his mind is thinking about. So thoughts trigger moods.

But for me, 8 out of 10 times, my mood will swing before my thoughts do. So moods trigger thoughts. It reminds me of a hostage situation, kind of. 

I can be wonderfully fine, having a great mental health day, when out of nowhere my mood will darken and joy leaches away into the ether. Or I wake up feeling well, wanting to tackle some stuff, but the Ogre of Depression body slams my brain and I spend the rest of the day struggling to get out of bed.

Thankfully, this mood swing didn't last for more than a couple of days. Sometimes, just sometimes, these moods can last weeks or months.

Anywhoodles, my time on my Mood Swing Set completely derailed where I thought I wanted to go with this entry, so I'll just leave it for now. A half-assed attempt is still an attempt; and I've been told that any attempt is better than nothing.

I don't think I fully realized how difficult this was going to be to keep this blog updated. Sharing my life online is terrifying. Sharing my damage hurts. But I have hope that this will be worth it to someone else.

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