Another new year!

 Goodbye, 2020! In terms of horribleness, you were amazing, 2020. I didn't know a single year could suck so much FOR THE ENTIRE PLANET!

I'm no stranger to bad years. 2007ish until late 2013 were the hardest years of my life. My support system took a massive hit when my grandparents (both of my mom's parents) were each diagnosed with different types of dementia. And then my mom began having mild strokes and had to quit her job.

It's really difficult for me to talk about this; I didn't realize then how much stress and emotional distress would be heaped on me. I didn't know it would break me, because I was Young (like 23 yrs or so) and oh so naïve to how the world worked. 

Now I'm older, and hopefully, a little wiser. And I have more gray hair than any of my peers. Seriously, I get comments on it ALL THE TIME when I mention my age. "But you're so young to have all that gray!" they say. Or my personal favorite: "What happened to your hair?!" Nowadays I just kill that conversation with, "Oh you know, 5ish years of emotional agony." That usually works. ;-)

I don't even remember what the point of this post is... I didn't mean to bring up what I refer to as my Very Dark Years. But it's a shiny new year, which is the perfect time to reflect on the past, I guess.

One of my goals is to share more of myself this year. My hope for this blog is that it helps just one person. If I can reach one person, then this whole endeavor will be worth it. Also, if it can help improve my woefully rusty writing skills, then this hasn't been a waste of time. Because I know my skill has dwindled down to barely existent, which is what happens when you neglect your gifts.

But I'm not trying to shame myself into writing, because shame isn't a good motivator for me. Love is better. If only I was good at loving myself. That's one of my goals for 2021: to love myself. I just want to love and accept myself as I am!

I want to document my path to healing and wholeness here, eventually. Again, I am incredibly scatter-brained and right now ALL THE WORDS WANT OUT AT THE SAME TIME. It's really difficult for me to get a grip on the right words and we all know how important the right words are to goblins. But with more practice that should improve. 

It's already not as hard as it was back in November. I'm all about celebrating those little victories these days! 

Anywhoodles, I really do need to get back to my IT Fundamentals studying because my other main goal for this year is to get a good job in the IT field somewhere in Silicon Valley where I live, no pressure or anything. 

Have the best week that you can! 

Ta!

P.S. Did you know that California is now home to some royals? :D 

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