Once more, with feeling!

I have rebooted this blog many times, but I lose steam after ONE post and disappear for 2 years or so. Rinse, repeat.

But I'm sick of that habit. Truly.

I want to be better. I deserve to be better. My creativity (which feels like it is on life support) deserves better.

So this is me, trying to become a better writer. And a better human being in general.

I'm not a disciplined writer anymore, not that I was ever really disciplined. I just had a better habit of writing in the evenings when I was still in college. Once I dropped out I let that good habit fall to the wayside. I let depression rob me of my passion for the written word.

I fell out of love with writing.

I let depression tell me I was just a talentless hack who would never amount to anything in this life. I believed the lie.

I became the lie.

I stopped writing in mid 2016; I stopped fighting to find a reason to write. I silenced my own voice.

And all the while my depression raged on, growing louder than ever and I had no creative outlet to help.

I wish I had had an understanding of how important creativity is when it comes to fighting depression and its buddy, anxiety. I never really appreciated how alive I would feel when I was lost in a world of my own creation. 

Creativity is like therapy for many. I just didn't see how it helped me. Looking back on my life, I can see how writing helped me keep a firm grasp on my sanity. Sadly, that grip isn't as firm as it used to be.

However, after years of actual therapy, I can say with certainty that talking to a therapist every few weeks AND taking Lexapro everyday significantly improve my overall mental heath. Going without either, or both, tends to screw me over.

So with all of this rambling in mind, I invite you, gentle reader, to take a journey with me. I need to do something creative; I can feel it in my heart. And the only way I can hold myself accountable is to share the trip along the way with others.

It's time to stop ignoring my gift for words, and my disrespect for editing said gift!